if i get a little prettier, can i be your baby?
by pearypie
Summary: High school AU. It's a wretched affair when he's the freak of nature who just so happens to be in love with Konoha's golden boy, Uzumaki Naruto. It's even worse when Naruto's best friends are convinced he's a yakuza serving cocaine smuggler with a grudge against Mayor Namikaze. [Naruto/Gaara.]
1. Chapter 1

It was a plain and simple fact that Sabaku no Gaara didn't do _relationships._ There were a plethora of reasons (most churned out by the Konoha High rumor mill) for his aversion to affairs of the monogamous kind but the single most prevalent one was that Sabaku no Gaara was scary as fuck. The guy was downright intimidating and not just because he never smiled (or made any facial expression other than indifferent stoicism—a skill he wielded far better than Uchiha Sasuke who was far too prone to the pettier emotions of annoyance and jealousy) oh no.

It was because Sabaku no Gaara possessed a color palette most would find unbelievable—his skin was milk pale, an unearthly shade of white that was almost translucent. He dressed all in black—whether that be leather jackets, ripped black jeans, t-shirts of bands that most people couldn't pronounce, chains, belts, metallic accessories that looked more like torture devises than fashion statements—hell, even if you were _blind_ you'd still recognize Sabaku no Gaara by the sound of his black, battered combat boots echoing down the hallway.

Yet the whole pale and dark contrast could have been forgiven if not for the dark-rimmed eyes and crimson shock of tousled hair that looked a cross between "I just had sex" and "I may or may not have disposed of a dead body." It was a bizarre synthesis of possibility but for some reason it was totally believable when Sabaku no Gaara was the one involved. And _sure,_ the cool jade eyes might have softened the whole look of charcoal and steel knives but the pure apathy (tinged with derision and emptiness) was more frightening than any spiked metal collar.

So it was a complete and utter shock when star athlete, Uzumaki Naruto, the best forward Konoha High's seen in twenty years _and_ who was bound to get a full ride scholarship to the University of Myoboku, began talking to him.

To Sabaku no Gaara.

Those who knew Naruto (and, to be quite honest, that was the entire damn school because Uzumaki Naruto radiated charm and affability) knew that Sabaku no Gaara (it was practically a sin to call him by his first name only) and Naruto were in the same AP English class taught by Hatake Kakashi, a retired Hollywood film star, and that Naruto's dad, Mayor Namikaze Minato, used to be college roommates with the ill-tempered and heartlessly cold tech billionaire Sabaku no Rasa.

A freshie had gotten wind of this and quickly spread word that Sabaku no Gaara used to go on playdates with Uzumaki Naruto—a rumor that got eviscerated after Inuzuka Kiba (a devil-may-care hedonist and startling good left midfielder) denied it with fanatical vehemence. No way was his best friend in any shap, way, or form associated with that red-haired freak of nature.

But even with these denials and muddled details, the fact remained: Uzumaki Naruto, the golden boy of Konoha High and the godson of Principal Senju Tsunade, now walked down the hallway after AP English cheerfully chatting with a stoic, blank-faced Sabaku no Gaara who would sometimes nod or shrug.

It was undeniably, unequivocally _bizarre._

* * *

"And what'd you think of those last few chapters? Man, I thought Humbert Humbert was fucked up before but damn, I guess I should've expected the whole kiss kiss bang bang thing at the end." Naruto shook his head, running one hand through messy blond hair. "Fuck. Still can't believe Kakashi-sensei starred in a movie adaption of that book."

"It's been done before."

"Well yeah but it's _Kakashi-sensei._ I'm seriously worried he'll get a call by the American FBI one day for jailbait charges."

"It was a _movie._ "

"Uh-huh. And the books he reads in class are instructional manuals on how to better his mind and soul spiritually."

"Some could see it as such."

"Dude if porn had the ability to cleanse your soul then you can bet I wouldn't be sending my subscriptions in under a pseudonym."

Gaara shrugged. "You're the mayor's son."

"Which means I could probably afford bail. And maybe my mom wouldn't hide my dead body under the floorboards."

"There's always the attic."

Naruto wrinkled his nose. (A few freshmen girls squealed.) "Nah, my mom's past the whole William Faulkner _A Rose for Emily_ shit. She'd just neuter me instead." He laughed.

A faint gleam of amusement appeared in Gaara's expressionless eyes. "You really liked that assignment."

Naruto nodded. "Who'd a thought, huh? But I guess creepy, macabre, and unhealthy love's right up my alley. That arsenic scene gets me every time. _I want some poison._ " He pitched in a high, craggy voice that sounded more like marbles being garbled by a cat. " _Arsenic. Is that a good one?_ "

"Arsenic is what I'll be giving you if you don't shut up right now." Gaara returned conversationally.

"But Gaara-kun! _I want the best you have! I don't care what kind!_ Love—passion—murder—state penitentiary!" He rolled his eyes dramatically, feigning a swoon before laughing again. "Fuck, I love stories like that. Makes analyzing literature interesting, ya know?"

They stopped at Gaara's locker, with the redhead ignoring Naruto's blabbering in favor of twisting in his lock code.

"Say, you wanna come over tomorrow or something to start on Kakashi-sensei's next assignment?" Naruto adjusted his backpack strap. "I was thinking we use _The Sound and The Fury_ —"

"I'm not doing Faulkner with you."

"Well that's fine cause I'm not into necrophilia." Naruto grinned easily—the same grin that'd gotten him out of a suspension writeup after he'd beat up that Kabuto bastard for calling Sasuke a fag. "Come on—Faulkner's great! The guy can tell dirty jokes better than anyone and who else can put in the same level of crazy as Quentin Compson and his Jaime Lannister feelings towards Caddy, huh?"

"If I agree to become your partner we're doing something that hasn't been exploited by television for ratings."

"Blame our reptilian brains." Naruto's phone vibrated, prompting him to glance down and see three irate messages from the king of all bastards, Uchiha Sasuke. "That fucker!" Naruto seethed, opening his iPhone with as much care as he could when all he really wanted to do was throw it at the wall. "Fucking fuck— _Dobe. Not going to be able to drive you home. Swim practice got extended._ "

"It's your own fault for never getting your license."

"That old turd failed me cause I called him out on his pedo shit!" Naruto protested. "Seriously—how the fuck can he fail me when he was trying to proposition me twelve minutes earlier?"

"Probably before you swerved and nearly ran into a U-Haul truck."

The blond glared. "That is the last time I call you mid-crisis."

"Fine by me." Gaara replied mildly, exchanging his Norton textbook for his calculus one. He'd always liked the soothing quality of multivariable formulations.

Naruto continued leaning against the locker wall, an irritatingly cute pout on his face.

"Why are you so upset?" Gaara closed his locker. "You only live two miles from here."

"Yeah but tonight's the old pervert's birthday and I wanted to be back in time to bake something. Maybe a cake. I dunno."

Gaara, who'd long since grown used to Naruto's excessive use of nicknames, said nothing before spinning around and walking towards the school's front doors.

"Gaara! Hey, wait up—!" Naruto grabbed the redhead's arm (the only person able to do that and not fear for their livelihood) with remarkable grace—guess he'd have to send a thank you note to crazy Might Guy and his "light ankle weights" that'd made Naruto feel as if he were running with the Chrysler building strapped to his legs. "Dude, I know I'm being a bitch right now but at least give me a hint when I've become insufferable. Otherwise I'll just get more annoying. It's a fact."

Gaara looked at him for a while, taking in the sharp sun-kissed jaw, the cheery (if slightly concerned) cornflower blue eyes, and unkempt blond hair.

He was taller than Gaara too. 6'1 to Gaara's 5'11.

"You want a ride or not?"

Naruto blinked. "Huh?"

"I'm not repeating myself."

Naruto faltered for a moment. "You…sure you don't mind?" Gaara watched as the blond hesitated, eager to say yes but considerable all the same.

It was one of the many things he liked about the soccer star with the easy smile.

Liked it quite a bit. Probably more than he should.

After realizing that ten seconds had passed with him not answering, the redhead turned around again. "Keep standing there and I'll rescind the offer."

"What the—! Gaara, man—slow down! Sheesh," Naruto jogged up beside him. "For a guy whose chosen sport is glaring holes at the back of people's heads, you're remarkably limber."

 _Limber?_ He really wasn't but for Naruto, Gaara might be willing to see how far he'd stretch. (And it was only through years of systematic practice that Gaara managed to keep his blush at bay.)

"Do you have all your books." The two walked down the school steps, front entrance in sight.

"Yeah, I finished tutoring with Sakura this afternoon during free period and we got through all my stat shit. I still can't believe you're going into physics. Those differential equation pre-req classes sound like hell."

"Medical physics is a burgeoning field." He answered with a shrug. "There's a lot to explore."

"True. I still can't believe you guys can do heart surgery without cutting the patient open. Cyber knives sound fucking _awesome._ You're gonna be saving lives with clean hands!"

"I'm fairly sure all doctors are required to wear gloves and use sanitizer." He responded, a faint hint of repressed laughter in his voice. Even though Naruto only understood the rudimentary pillars of Gaara's intended college major, he listened and paid attention with more enthusiasm than most of Gaara's fellow STEM students. Rapt eyes, furrowed brows, a joke or question on the tip of his tongue—

Naruto had the unique ability to make you feel as if you were the most important person in the room. That your words were valued, that _you_ were valued. And he did so with no judgement or pretension—freely admitting mistakes and faults (unless they were joking—in which case Naruto could be more bullheaded than a groupie chasing after Elvis) all the while saying the weirdest things that had the ability to make Gaara smile. Sometimes _laugh._

It was downright strange.

"Speaking of which I never did congratulate you for your early admin to Myoboku." Naruto grinned as he kicked open the front doors, not caring about security cameras or potential damage to school property. Rushing outside, Naruto turned so he was walking backwards, with an amused Gaara observing him. "You gotta give me more notice than a 3 word text before homeroom, man."

Gaara shrugged. Honestly, it'd meant more to him than words could ever express just knowing Naruto _cared._

Outside the clear blue sky and brisk February weather gave Konoha's winter atmosphere a calming effect. The lemon yellow sun shone overhead and the almost empty parking lot was unimpressive—save for one sleek black Jaguar parked near the soccer field.

"Seriously Gaara," Naruto walked beside him, lazily confident with his arms crossed behind his head. "Even if we get jack shit done tomorrow, you should still come over." He turned, giving him a smile so broad that the dimple on his left cheek stood out.

"And why would I do that." He ignored the beaming smile and dimple combo to pull out his car keys. Better keep his hands busy before he sunk into madness and tried to trace his fingers along Naruto's jaw.

"To celebrate!" The blond enthused, looping one arm around Gaara's shoulders. "C'mon, even if you aren't impressed with what you've accomplished doesn't mean we plebs can't be! I mean, it's _Myoboku_ dude, the same university Prime Minister Senju Hashirama went to. The same school he played starring forward at and also where he met my great aunt Mito. And you got a full academic scholarship!" Naruto shook his head, clearly impressed. "If that doesn't warrant a party then I don't know what does."

"You're not throwing me a party."

"I know you're not gonna believe me when I say this but human interaction isn't _that_ bad every once in a while."

 _That's because people want to be around you. People gravitate towards you—like planets around the sun. You make people feel important, Naruto._

 _You make them feel—_

"Besides, you'll never hang out with me otherwise." Naruto chuckled, arm still around Gaara, who suddenly felt as if he'd been shot full of lightening.

He gave Naruto a sharp glare. "What?"

"It's true." The blond shrugged his shoulders. The easy smile and ready laughter often hid Naruto's unhappiness quite well but for someone like Gaara, who'd made a hobby of people watching, there was suppressed hurt hidden beneath those delphinium blue depths. "I mean, I get it." His…friend? Classmate? Companion? continued. "You got a reputation to maintain and I'm sort of a pain in the ass to talk to. Loud and obnoxious is how Sakura phrased it and," he shrugged, "she's not wrong. So I get why you might only wanna talk to me during AP Lit—mostly cause you're forced to but hey, I'm easy like that." He turned, giving Gaara a half-fractured smile. "I'll take what I can get."

"Naruto—"

The blond athlete—Konoha High's star soccer player and top of the popularity food chain—waved aside his protests. "Nah, don't worry about it. I'm just being melodramatic again."

They'd reached Gaara's car and Naruto's warmth suddenly left the redhead's side, leaving him off-center and cold. It wasn't anything new but after having basked under Naruto's sun, Gaara was extremely reluctant to give it up.

Hence why he tried to keep as much distance as he could. He didn't want to suffocate Naruto with his presence. Not Naruto, someone whose circle of friends was as large as the Cirque du Soleil and who had the ability to befriend a hundred more. It was a miracle Naruto even wanted to keep talking to him after Kakashi stuck them together for their first midterm in November because _shit,_ didn't Naruto know?

Out of everyone at Konoha High, Uzumaki Naruto was the only one Gaara would look at with gentle eyes and the only person he wanted to perhaps talk to. Even just in passing.

And now that Naruto was talking to him on a regular basis (though he still couldn't figure out _why_ —Naruto wasn't like the others. He was independently wealthy and his father was mayor, he didn't need Rasa's money or influence), Gaara would be damned if he ruined whatever accord they'd silently agreed upon by imposing himself in Naruto's life. And knowing the too-nice blond knucklehead, he wouldn't even complain. Would simply tolerate it until one of Naruto's close friends—one of his best friends, whether that be Uchiha, Haruno, or Inuzuka—kicked him out on Naruto's behalf.

Besides, for all Gaara knew, Naruto didn't even swing that way.

"Gaara? Dude, you okay?" Naruto asked, one hand coming to tilt the shorter boy's chin up.

Gaara froze.

He was now looking directly into Naruto's eyes—could see the planes and contours of his face: the sharp cut jaw, the Grecian nose, high cheekbones, and concerned sky-blue eyes. And, Gaara hesitated, Naruto's hand was _under his chin._ He could feel the callouses and frayed skin from hours upon hours of soccer practice, skateboarding accidents, and carpentry accidents that'd resulted in bruised nails and bleeding palms. The heat emanating from Naruto's hand seared through his translucent flesh, causing Gaara to feel heat rushing to his face.

With a sharp jerk, Gaara stepped away, eyes not missing the look of hurt in Naruto's eyes.

 _Now you've done it,_ that accusatory voice in the back of his mind sneered. _Insult the boy you probably love more than your own life. Fucking_ ** _shit_** _._

"I'm fine." He cleared his throat, fumbled with his keys, and opened the driver's door. "Let's go."

"You sure—?"

"Yes. You'll be late for your godfather's party if we don't—"

"Holy _fuck,_ I almost forgot!" Naruto frantically ran a hand through his hair. "If you hadn't said anything I would've just been here talking to you for hours!"

 _Hours…?_ Gaara's eyes widened just half a fraction.

"Anyway, you think we'll beat late afternoon traffic?" Naruto nervously pulled out his phone, checking Google Maps. "I mean, the local's always clogged and now we're an hour late and—"

"Get in the car, Uzumaki. The faster you stop talking, the quicker we'll get there."

"But hypothetically speaking, should we check for alternative routes? I mean, I can get pretty fidgety and I know you don't like that but if we're stuck in traffic for hours on end then I just might have a full blown fidget session that'll have you kicking me out of your car—"

"Naruto."

He glanced up. "Yeah?"

Gaara plucked the phone out of the blond's hands and pocketed it, completely ignoring the other boy's protests. "Shut up. Get in the car. Strap yourself in before I take off with your phone and your dignity."

"Aww babe, you should've said that earlier. You know I'm a sucker for dirty talk." Naruto winked with a laugh and a wave of thanks as he got into the passenger seat.

Gaara was torn.

On the one hand, he'd quite like to strap the blond in and ride him until he was chanting Gaara's name like a prayer.

On the other hand, Gaara grimaced, he was already too aroused—and they had a twenty minute drive, complete with traffic and red lights.

Fuck.

* * *

Although Naruto's father was mayor and owned one of the finest residences in Konoha, Naruto typically stayed with his godfather, Sannin Jiraiya, a multimillionaire media mogul who resided in one of the most upscale penthouses in the Ryuuchi district. Gaara's own father owned several suites in the same building and it was where Kankuro and Temari would reside when they visited over winter break and couldn't stand the icy atmosphere of the Sabaku mansion.

Gaara pulled into the VIP parking lot, flashed his pass, and killed the engine.

"You panicked for no reason." He said matter-of-factly. "And you're fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. Quite the change, actually."

"Eh, as long as I'm earlier than Kakashi-sensei, then I'm early." Naruto flashed a thankful smile. "I appreciate this a lot Gaara—especially since you live on the other side of town."

"I have my own place here. If the traffic became too unbearable I could just stay in one of the suites for the night."

"Yeah, but I don't want your dad ragging on you on my account." Naruto said seriously.

Gaara shrugged. Rasa honestly didn't give a shit where Gaara was so long as he wasn't out tarnishing the Sabaku name or lying dead in a ditch somewhere. "It's fine." He returned Naruto's gaze with as much reassurance as he could—which wasn't much but Naruto, sensing Gaara's discomfort, let the subject drop.

"You sure you don't wanna drop by? The perv's a downright creep at times but he's got a killer booze collection. Whiskey from 1909—how he swiped that, I'll never know." He crowed before pausing, a look of contemplation on his face. "Second thought," Naruto frowned, "I probably do know. God, he's gonna get sued one day."

"I think his lawsuit might have a fair chance of succeeding if the main object of contention is whiskey. I've yet to hear of a war being waged in the name of fermented grain mash." He knew he sounded ridiculous right now, joking about some 50 year old's liquor preferences in the parking lot of the Manda penthouses but—

Gaara couldn't help it. Being with Naruto loosened his tongue, transformed his silence into verbal responses, and softened the harsh set of his mouth into a half-smile that, while faint, was _there._

Naruto, whose eyes widened only slightly, burst out laughing. "Have you _met_ Jiraiya? Honestly I'm amazed the man even remembers to put his pants on most days. If he gets thrown into a court case over stolen whiskey then by god, I'm gonna have to get my dad to pull a few strings cause he'll just go back to writing porn on the back of his lawsuit files." Naruto laughed again and Gaara tried his best to beat down the sense of pride knowing he (or his comment) was the cause of Naruto's bright, effusive smile.

Instead, the pale-skinned boy gave half a shrug and unlocked the car doors. It wouldn't do to keep Naruto trapped in here all night.

Gaara closed his eyes.

 _Bad image. Not now!_

"See you tomorrow, Uzumaki." It'd taken Gaara weeks to be able to say that without flinching—without thinking he sounded too desperate (heck, he still might) but it allowed Naruto to give him another smile (and when did he start collecting the blond idiot's smiles anyway?) before he opened the car door.

"Sure, and hey—if you really don't want me causing a ruckus then at least meet me for coffee, yeah? I know caffeine is one thing you'll never say no to." He added with a wink.

 _I'd never say no to you either._ Gaara mused mildly before giving a faint inclination of his chin as Naruto climbed out.

Coffee.

Gaara could work with that.

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke didn't really have anything against Sabaku no Gaara, that weird, quiet red-haired kid whose eyes followed Naruto everywhere he went. He didn't care if the Konoha High rumor mill thought he was a part-time coke smuggler or that he'd done time in a maximum security prison in the US before transferring to Konoha. Sabaku was in his Calculus III class, didn't disrupt lectures, finished his work on time, and Sasuke never even considered him a fully formed entity until he realized goth boy over here had a big fat crush on his best friend, Uzumaki Naruto.

Sasuke made it a point not to involve himself in anyone else's business whether they be friend, family, or foe. He didn't have the time or energy to expend on other people whose problems he just didn't give a damn about.

Or at least that's what he told himself.

Sure Naruto was a cheery, optimistic moron who shat fucking rainbows and could outrun (just _barely_ though, Sasuke's Uchiha pride reminded him firmly) on the soccer field. The blond idiot was an athletic prodigy with a good mind for history and literature and gave as good as he got. Naruto was the first person (besides Itachi) who didn't shrink at Sasuke's abrasive nature or sharp tongue. For someone so illogical and goofy, Naruto wasn't stupid—not at all. He was…loud, yes, but also entertaining, passionate, fiercely loyal, and probably the best friend Sasuke'd ever had and ever would have.

As a result, he wasn't too keen on some strange redheaded loner stalking his best friend—especially since no one knew a damn thing about Sabaku no Gaara and while Sasuke didn't care if he sold cocaine to high-ranking yakuza officials, he _did_ care if Naruto was going to be involved in some shape, way, or form.

It was probably the reason he was committing theoretical suicide when he phoned Naruto's other best friend, Haruno Sakura, for dirt.

Information.

 _Not_ gossip.

"Hello, hello, Haruno residence." Sakura's perky voice smiled into the other line.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "What do you know about Sabaku no Gaara?"

"Sasuke-kun? Is that you?!" Sasuke heard the faint sound of footsteps hitting hardwood, the slam of a door, and the creak of someone jumping onto their bed before Sakura's breathless voice continued. "Um, why do you want to know?"

"I just do."

"Ooh, are you interested?" She sounded disappointed.

Sasuke was beginning to question his sanity. "No, I'm not interested. Just doing a preliminary background check."

"Holy shit, _I was right!_ Gaara's making a play for Naruto isn't he?"

Sasuke stiffened. "How do you know?"

"Um, it's kinda obvious Sasuke-kun." That statement itself was like a proverbial eye-roll. "Ino-pig and I even bet on when it's gonna happen. She says next month but I bet prom. I mean, Naruto has to have time to adjust right? He's not gay—"

"Sakura just tell me what you know about Sabaku no Gaara." He was annoyed now. It was 9 PM, dinner had been silent as usual, and Sasuke still had an extra credit report to edit and submit.

He heard the rustling of paper on the other line. "Alright, well, you didn't ask very nicely but I'll concede one to you because you're under stress and are currently in protective big brother mode—"

"I don't _have_ a 'protective big brother mode'. Whatever that is."

"You have Itachi. You're telling me you _never_ picked up a single habit from him? Smothering overprotectiveness? Smug superiority? Actually scratch the second one—that might just be an inborn Uchiha trait."

" _Sakura._ "

"Say that again but slower—and in a lower tone of voice. You could definitely get a part-time job as a phone sex operator."

"I'm hanging up."

"Now that's one way to turn a girl on but you gotta specify which part is hung and—"

"Goodbye."

"Alright, alright," she managed between giggles, "I was just teasing."

Sasuke stayed silent.

Sakura sighed. "Fine, you want info? Here it is. Sabaku no Gaara, youngest child of Sabaku no Rasa and his wife, Karura. He's got two older siblings—an older sister named Temari who Shikamaru is low-key in love with after meeting her on the Konoha U campus tour, and an older brother Kankuro. Um…let's see, let's see. He transferred here from Sunagakure, has never been written up, has never had detention, and if I were to extrapolate then I'd say this kid's never even gotten a speeding ticket. Clean as a whistle, Sasuke-kun."

"That's it?"

"Unless he's got a secret criminal file that I don't see here then, yeah, that's it."

"What do his brother and sister do."

"Um…" he heard keys clicking and knew Sakura had entered into hacker mode. "Hold on…let's see—ah! So Temari's a senior at Konoha U and studying business management—will most likely pursue a masters degree, I definitely get that vibe from her—and Kankuro…huh. He's studying computer engineering at Myoboku and already got an offer to intern at Sunagakure Enterprises though I doubt he'll take it."

"Why not?"

"The Sabaku's are divas of the defense industry. Why work at another company when you're already on top? And," Sakura continued, "why're you so interested?"

"Mayor Namikaze's up for reelection."

"So…?"

"It's convenient how Sabaku no Rasa pulled his support from Mayor Namikaze's campaign and now Gaara is showing interest in the mayor's son."

"You can't be serious." Sakura sounded incredulous. "You think this is some… _political move?_ Sasuke, what the hell."

"You don't know the Sabaku family like I do." He disclosed fluidly, opening his laptop. "They're trouble, Sakura. Everywhere they go, they leave disaster in their wake."

"Hey, I'm the future FBI special agent here and I know for a fact that the Sabaku's—"

"Can you really live with yourself if Mayor Namikaze's campaign is destroyed by an inside political job?" He demanded.

Sakura hesitated. "I mean, _no,_ obviously but—"

"Then it's settled. Until we have fully discerned Sabaku no Gaara's motives, Naruto isn't allowed near him."

"Hold the fucking phone, Sasuke. I am not going to play Montague and Capulet and forbid Naruto and Gaara from seeing each other." She seethed. "Furthermore, you sound absolutely ridiculous. We're _seventeen,_ what the fuck can we do?"

"You hacked into the school systems of Konoha High, Konoha University, and Myoboku four minutes ago. Naruto was the target of six kidnapping attempts before he was ten. Ino was in a mental asylum for five months. Do you want me to go on?"

Sakura was silent.

"Naruto. Gaara. Keep them apart. Got it?"

"…Alright, fine."

"Good."

* * *

 **Notes:**

 **\- Novels referenced are _Lolita_ by Vladimir Nabokov, William Faulkner's short story _A Rose for Emily_ and his novel _The Sound and The Fury_. **

**\- Medical physics is basically applied physics in medicine (or theoretical medicine) and focuses mainly on using radiation to improve the quality and safety of healthcare. It's also an extremely, extremely difficult field - hence Naruto's awe and amazement XD**

 **A/N: So I have never written Naruto/Gaara before in my life but it's quickly becoming a pairing I am shamelessly addicted to lmao (tbh I ship so many couples in Naruto it's a little disturbing lol)**

 **Comments and feedback appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

March was a pretty fucked up month in Gaara's opinion. For one, the sky shined a perpetual blue that matched the exact same shade of Naruto's eyes, the damn yellow sun transformed into a perfect honey gold color that constantly reminded him of Naruto's hair, and the brisk spring weather—with its biting winds and frosty temperature—always managed to give Naruto that perfect rosy-cheeked flush that had Gaara thinking Very Naughty Things.

So yeah, March was 31 days of personalized torture and he couldn't even avoid it because Naruto was absolutely dead set on making the most of their senior year. It didn't help that March was the Month of Many Useless Parties and that Naruto had inherited his mother's over-the-top event planning obsession. Kinda weird for a guy who couldn't even be bothered to wear matching socks but hey, it was just another damn quirk Gaara couldn't help but love.

Which was probably why he was sitting alone at one of Konoha's snootier cafes at 10:50 AM, a full ten minutes ahead of schedule.

In retrospect, it was probably a stupid idea to give in and meet Naruto for coffee because this whole thing was screaming _first date atmosphere_ even though Naruto probably didn't (and never would) think of it that way. To the blond soccer star this was just two friends catching up, chatting about the beautiful game (is that what they called it?), and doing whatever it was two casual guy friends were supposed to do. That was it.

He took another deep drink.

Black coffee. No cream, no sugar, no whip, nothing.

Naruto liked the crazy blended frappes—the ones that were more sugar than coffee and had whipped cream six inches high. His favorite flavor was caramel but he always got peppermint mocha during the winter months. During one of Gaara's particularly bad days (this was around December—December 3rd because _of-fucking-course_ Gaara remembered the day) Naruto had shown up to class with a large peppermint mocha and two paper bags in hand. Good old Hatake-sensei had raised a brow but said nothing as Naruto sat down next to Gaara and passed him one of the bags.

Inside was a toasted poppyseed bagel with cream cheese and sliced tomatoes. Gaara had mentioned this bizarre bagel concoction to Naruto _once,_ offhandedly, while they were still reading Faulkner and stuck doing that group project together. Naruto had smiled, agreed it was a unique combination (not strange, not weird, just _unique_ ) but also that poppyseed bagels were _awesome_ and he'd definitely start trying different combinations of cream cheese and vegetables-that-were-technically-fruits because Uzumaki Naruto never backs down from a challenge.

Gaara had given him a funny look and told him it wasn't a challenge.

Naruto flashed him a heart-stopping grin and said _yeah, I know but I'm gonna make it one_ before giving him a wink and turning back to his textbook.

Gaara had difficulty breathing for a good thirty seconds after that and it wasn't until the bell rang that the redhead remembered to thank Naruto. It was a brief nod and an oh so faint smile, a casual _thanks,_ but Naruto had beamed so _brightly_ and smiled so _earnestly_ that Gaara seriously considered carrying around cardiac medication because dear god, Uzumaki Naruto was going to kill him one of these days.

(Because he's Konoha's golden boy with the world at his feet and love everywhere. He's got friends who look out for him, a godfather who's nosy and caring and actually _there,_ he's got a dad who phones him every night because Naruto is his son and he loves him and—he _doesn't need_ Gaara. Naruto doesn't need to remember Gaara's favorite bagel combination or even remember anything Gaara tells him. He doesn't need to greet him so cheerfully every morning even when all Gaara does is glare. He doesn't need to make conversation, ask about his day, sit next to Gaara _every day_ in AP English even though their group assignment had long since passed. He doesn't need to _make an effort_ with Gaara but the very fact that he does—)

"Whoa man, contemplating the questions of the universe or what?" That was Naruto's cue.

He could hear the smile in the blond athlete's voice as he pulled back the chair opposite Gaara and plopped down a great deal of ceremony.

With a smirk and quip on the tip of his tongue, the paler boy glanced up...

...and nearly choked on his own tongue.

Black loafers. Dark wash jeans. White button up rolled up at the sleeves and a grey wool overcoat laid across his right arm.

Why the fucking _hell_ did Uzumaki Naruto have to look so damn _good?_

The blond hung his coat on the back of his chair, didn't even bother taking out his phone, and leaned back in his seat, arms crossed behind his head.

"You're late." Gaara addressed after a brief pause.

"Ah, yeah," Naruto let out a rueful chuckle. "Sorry about that. Traffic was murder and I—uh," he shrugged, "something came up."

The words were casually said but Gaara couldn't help the pang of guilt that shot through his stomach. Naruto had so many other friends— _so many_ —but he'd been forced to cancel whatever plans he might've had because Gaara had agreed to get coffee with him and Naruto was too polite to back out of it.

"If you need to leave…" Gaara trailed off, voice as cool and calm as always.

His chest, however, felt as if someone had set off half a hundred illegal fireworks and poured a drum of gasoline over his still beating heart too.

"Nah," Naruto brushed aside his concern with an easy smile and low chuckle. "Don't even worry about it, it's just—I dunno, Sasuke and Sakura have been acting pretty nuts lately. Hell, you'd have thought I told them I was relocating to Madagascar, not coming to a coffee shop."

Gaara frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean they literally kept me on the phone until I got out of the damn car. Sakura nearly punctured my ear drum when I told her I had to hang up and then fucking Sasuke-teme calls while I'm walking out of the parking lot all the while insisting I get to his house right now because of a 'family emergency.'" Naruto rolled his eyes. "That's when you _know_ he's bullshitting. His dad's away on a business trip and Itachi's back at med school—his house is the fucking definition of peaceful."

"You've got concerned friends."

"They're psychotic that's what they are." He scoffs but his voice is fond—warm, even—and Gaara feels ridiculously small.

Compared to Sakura and Sasuke, he was little more than an acquaintance. A casual visitor and interloper who would occasionally pass by their fully formed lives. If this were a movie, Gaara would simply be the unnamed character prop who the protagonist waved to every morning on the way to school. The faceless, nameless nobody who wouldn't even warrant a screen credit because he was just _there._

The observer, destined to see but never hold.

It was with great difficulty that he swallowed the lump in his throat and gestured towards the front counter. "You want to order?"

Naruto, looking all at once smug and positively delighted, grinned as he thrust his phone in front of Gaara's face. "Mobile order." He preened excitedly, sounding more like a game show host than an 18 year old with a downloaded app. "You should try it sometime, it's called Coffee2Me—"

"You're using _that?_ " Gaara choked out, half-torn between amusement and exasperation.

Naruto's impossibly blue eyes widened even further. "You've _heard_ of it!?"

"How could I not." Gaara grimaced. "It's another one of Kankuro's never-ending experiments."

"No way. _No freaking way._ " Naruto breathed and pitched forward, face now inches away from Gaara's own. " _Your_ brother invented Coffee2Me? The greatest app of all time? The cornerstone of every sad, pathetic high schooler and college student who's forgotten the meaning of sleep? And _you didn't tell_ _me?_ What would've happened if I ever found this app Gaara? What would've happened if I never beheld the electronic glory that is Coffee2Me?" Naruto suddenly shot back, one finger pointed at Gaara. "I'd be dead, that's what! Dead in a ditch—maybe a gutter, or even someone's hurricane cellar—" He cried dramatically right as one of the waitresses came up with his large caramel frappe, extra caramel and more whipped cream than any single human being should ever consume.

"You wouldn't be dead." Gaara deadpanned. "How does me not telling you about one of my brother's stupid apps result in you dying?"

"Uh, you see these reflexes?" He casually tossed six sugar packets in the air before catching all six in one hand. "Yeah, _that?_ " He hoisted up his frappe that was pretty much all liquified sugar. "All thanks to this baby right here."

"That's condensed milk and flavored syrup."

"It's _coffee._ I'd be straight up dead without this baby here, heck—I wouldn't be able to _function._ Death could just take me and I wouldn't notice until I got hungry and realized purgatory doesn't have a ramen stand."

"You wouldn't be in purgatory."

Naruto took a deep drink before replying. "You think?" A clump of whipped cream was stuck to the corner of his mouth.

Gaara was momentarily transfixed (because Naruto really _did_ have something of an oral fixation: constantly licking his lips, sucking on hard candy in class, tongue running over the corner of his mouth and eyes fixed on Gaara—)

The redhead blinked twice before biting down on the inside of his mouth and reminding his all too perverted brain that this was _Naruto,_ his... _friend._ His very _straight_ friend.

"Nope." The redhead chugged the rest of his now cold coffee and silently wished it was still hot.

If he could scald his vocal chords then he could embrace blessed muteness and avoid embarrassing himself to hell and back.

Naruto, in response, looked positively insulted. "Jeez, am I really bound for hell?"

"You're not going to hell."

"Well, then, where the fucking _hell_ —" (because _of course_ Naruto wouldn't be able to resist the damn pun) "—am I supposed to go?"

Gaara looked at him. "I don't think a lack of coffee is going to kill you." He said matter of factly. "Stupidity will."

His friend/crush/boy Gaara-would-most-certainly-like-to-kiss pouted. "You didn't even comment on my pun!"

"Your pun was stupid too."

"That's _cold_ Gaara-kun." The blond moped before perking up in record speed. "Hey, whaddya think of F. Scott Fitzgerald for our final project? With him we get the best of both worlds—you get your fancy prose and I get my murder mystery."

"You want to do _Gatsby_ —?"

"No, no, no," Naruto corrected. " _Tender Is The Night._ "

Gaara blinked. _Did he…had he actually remembered…?_

"Uh, we don't _have_ to," the blond backtracked awkwardly. "I just, you know… _Tender Is The Night_ definitely hasn't been exploited for TV ratings." He scratched the back of his head—a habit Naruto reverted to whenever he was unsure or shy. Two incredibly rare moods to be sure but Gaara noticed—just as he's noticing how Naruto's avoiding eye contact and looking at his half-empty frappe as if it held the meaning of life. "And…you, uh, you said it was _criminally underrated_ right? I mean, you used a lot of terms in that 30 minute rant—longest I've ever hear you talk, by the way—but I think that was the phrase that got me. _Criminally underrated._ " Naruto chuckled again, peeking up at Gaara through his eyelashes. "Reminded me of you."

"I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered." Was his response.

Inside, Gaara could barely function.

It hadn't been intentional—that 30 minute rant. It'd occurred mid-January, when they were stuck on the last few pages of their joint essay project. It was 3 AM, they were running on caffeine and cigarettes and Gaara just _snapped_ after Naruto mentioned _Lord of the Flies._

 _Overdone, overanalyzed, over-read,_ he snarled waspishly. _T_ _here are novels out there that've been long neglected because the literary community itself can hardly comprehend what it means to_ ** _think_** _without relying on past analyses of books that have been lauded for so long that kids these days don't even remember_ ** _why_** _._ Gaara's cheeks were flushed, his chest heaving, and it took him 15 whole seconds to realize he was ranting like loon in front of _Uzumaki Naruto_ who'd probably have him committed within the next five minutes.

Yet instead of polite disinterest. Naruto had returned Gaara's slightly frantic gaze and urged him to continue. His sky-blue eyes burned with an intensity that matched Gaara's own—a fire the redhead suppressed and smothered because _what was the point?_

It was Naruto who listened and it was Naruto who _heard_ and it was that night Gaara realized he might be falling in love with Konoha's golden boy.

"Oi Gaara, hey—you alright?"

He blinked twice before realizing that the blond athlete was now leaning over the table, an expression of concern and something softer etched into his handsome features.

Gaara quickly turned his cheek, knowing full well that with skin this damn pale he'd risk a full-on tomato face blush if he kept looking into Naruto's eyes. "What?"

" _Tender Is The Night._ " He repeated and it was only the slight hitch in his breath that gave him away.

Because he _remembered._ Naruto remembered Gaara's words—words that meant more to Gaara than anything he's ever owned. And to anyone else the gesture might've been small—insignificant even—but it was something Gaara simply couldn't get enough of. To be listened, to be _heard,_ to be cared for (even if it came in minutes and seconds) was the most wonderful thing in the world.

The smile that appeared on his perpetually downturned lips was small and accidental. Its edges were soft and the flinty coldness in his pale green eyes warmed to something resembling pure jade.

"Yeah." He nodded even as his conscious screamed otherwise. This was too much—he was giving _too much._ Whatever tattered pieces of his heart he had left, he was giving to Naruto—the boy who consumed his waking days and stole the eloquence from his lips.

And around him, around _Naruto,_ all Gaara could do was love.

"Hey Gaara." Sapphire eyes gleamed as Naruto glanced around, a conspiratorial smirk on his mouth.

The smile on the paler boy's lips lasted only a few more seconds before fading, though his eyes remained as warm as ever. "What now Uzumaki?"

"Wanna grab a slushie?"

* * *

Monday morning dawned bright and early. The students of Konoha High were as bright and perky as ever (well, alright, _one_ student was as bright and perky as ever) when Sabaku no Gaara walked into Calculus III to see Uchiha Sasuke glaring a hole into his head.

It was strange really.

For the past three (almost four) years they'd treated each other as pieces of furniture—sure they knew the other person _existed_ but that didn't mean they had to _acknowledge_ them. But now, Gaara realized, Uchiha Sasuke (who was, annoyingly enough, Naruto's best friend) was glaring daggers at him all the while carefully printing kanji onto his notebook and texting beneath his desk.

It was sort of impressive.

Until Gaara felt his own phone vibrate.

 _Stay away from Naruto._

He glanced at the screen—and unknown number—for a full three seconds before shoving the device back into his pocket and returning the Uchiha's gaze. His own green eyes were as hard and unyielding as concrete.

Around Naruto Gaara could smile and joke and remember what it felt like to have a heart beating in his chest.

Around anyone else? Well, they were all pretty damn expendable.

 _Fuck off._ Gaara texted back when he remembered that _no way in fucking hell_ was he letting the Uchiha get the last word.

Eventually Sasuke had to break their staring contest to glance down at his phone and once he did, his face twisted into a furious grimace and Gaara swore he was choking on his own spit. Instantly he began to type back.

 _You and I both know you're just temporary. So do yourself a favor and back the fuck off._

 _Why should I?_ Gaara responded, not bothering to even pretend to pay attention. He and Sasuke were the top two students of their class. Terumi-sensei wouldn't write up the Uchiha brat because she liked his pretty face. Terumi-sensei also wouldn't write up Gaara because she kinda owed his dad.

Gaara's phone buzzed but instead of another vague and none too threatening text from Uchiha, he saw a name and two ramen emojis flashing on his screen. A faint smile appeared on his own pale lips.

 _Uzumaki Naruto._

 _Yo, Gaara! Still free this afternoon around 5?_ (Inwardly, Gaara snorted. Only Naruto would still consider 5 PM as 'the afternoon') _We could head to that bookshop you're always going on about so I can pick up my copy of Fitzgerald & you can continue to hoard books like the madman you are lol _

He texted back. _5 PM does not constitute as 'afternoon' Uzumaki._

The reply was instantaneous. **U. Naruto:** _YEEEESSS it does._

Half a second later. **U. Naruto:** _And did you even read the rest of the text?_

 **S. Gaara:** _I did. And I do not hoard._

 **U. Naruto:** _Uh, sorry dude but you kinda do. I've seen your room. You don't have walls, you have fucking_ ** _bookshelves_** _._

 **U. Naruto:** _Yo, how pissed would you be if I signed you up for that show Hoarders_

 **U. Naruto:** _Cuz like, I could appear alongside you & give commentary and shit cuz I'm hilarious _

**U. Naruto:** _We'd roll the Kardashians like dough_

 **U. Naruto:** _Crush em like a cranberry_

 **U. Naruto:** _WE COULD BE YEEZUS GROUPIES_

 **U. Naruto:** _This is literally the best idea I've ever had_

 **S. Gaara:** _I'm sorry, who is this?_

 **U. Naruto:** _That's_ ** _cold_** _Gaara-kun_

 **S. Gaara:** _Bookshop at 5. I'm driving._

 **U. Naruto:** _So is that a no to our future reality TV careers?_

 **U. Naruto:** _Gaara_

 **U. Naruto:** _Gaara_

 **U. Naruto:** _Gaara_

 **U. Naruto:** _Boo you whore_

 **U. Naruto:** _C'mon Veronica Sawyer, I'll buy you a slushie if you reply_

 **S. Gaara:** _You'd do that anyway._

 **S. Gaara:** _Addict._

 **U. Naruto:** _What can I say, I live for that sweet frozen rush_

Gaara snorted, barely biting back a hiss of laughter.

Behind him, Sasuke glared.

* * *

"Yo Sasuke, wait up bastard!" Naruto threw his backpack over his shoulder, jumped over a bike rack, and sprinted towards the black haired Uchiha in record time. "Jeez, do you even know the meaning of the word 'wait up'?"

"That's two words, moron."

"Tch, this is why no one likes you." Naruto scoffed, lips curled into a wide grin as he tried to appear insulted but came off looking more like an excitable electric duck.

Sharp black eyes narrowed. "Did someone dump fire ants down your pants or what? You look like you're about to implode." Naruto opened his mouth to answer before Sakura practically jumped on his back, causing the blond to choke back his words as she cheerfully grabbed his coat collar as if it were a pair of horse reigns.

"Sup boys?" She rested her chin on Naruto's head.

"What the actual _fuck,_ Sakura—" Naruto grumbled even as his hands came to support her knees. Sakura liked piggyback rides and Naruto was her favorite unsuspecting victim.

"Be grateful I'm here," she answered primly. "Since you and Sasuke are pretty much social groundhogs with no idea of what constitutes social elegance, I'm here to give you bozos a brief announcement and recommendation."

Sasuke scoffed.

Naruto sighed.

"C'mon Pinkie, get off him." The Uchiha snapped though Naruto swore he could detect an undercurrent of reluctant fondness coating the bastard's tone.

"Um, _hello,_ I'm making an announcement right now." She arched a brow. "And do you see any platforms nearby? I've got to make do with our favorite blond dum dum here." She patted the soccer star's head as she would a baby koala.

"Fuck, I knew we should've gotten you a cat for your 12th birthday—didn't I fucking tell you to get her the cat?" Naruto glared at the stoic bastard he called his best friend. "But noooo, Mr. Dark and Gloomy here had to be all 'mysterious' and whatnot and we spent $80 on a diary that you don't even use!"

"Anything you give me is money well spent." She reassured. "Now shut up and stop interrupting me." Sakura cleared her throat. "Now boys, you two may be oblivious social idiots but I won't hold it against you. Sasuke, you're pretty but you've got all the social charm of a bloody chainsaw. But never fret! Because I'm here with the best news you'll hear all day: boys," her eyes lit up, "Cotillion's _finally here!_ The biggest social event of the year—the debutante ball of debutante balls—and guess who's head of the _very_ exclusive planning committee." She preened.

Sasuke blinked. "Anyone but you."

Sakura kicked Naruto in the stomach.

" _Ow—_ what the fuck, why am _I_ getting kicked? I didn't even say anything!"

"Cause you're closer to me than Sasuke." She shrugged.

Naruto pouted. "Great, I get verbal abuse from Sasuke-teme and physical abuse from the prettiest girl in school. You're _cruel_ Sakura-chan and I don't know why I love you."

"Because I help you with your homework and break my bank account supplying you with winter snacks, dum dum." Was her waspish retort even as her hands adjusted Naruto's bright blue scarf so that it was safely tucked under his grey wool overcoat. "And stop showing off on the soccer field—I'm running out of antiseptic and I _just_ refilled the bottle."

"What do you mean _you_ refilled the bottle?" Sasuke sneered. "You made _me_ run to CVS for that shit."

"You didn't say no." Sakura shot back.

"Probably cause you'd pummel his weak ass to the 9th circle of hell." Naruto muttered under his breath.

"Shut it, dobe."

"That was a piss poor comeback, Uchiha." The blond readjusted his grip on Sakura to make sure she wouldn't vault backwards. "You really lost a few brain cells this weekend didn't you?"

Sasuke's eye twitched.

Naruto grinned. "Not so tough when you realize you probably can't get away with murder in a place this public, huh?"

"If we were living in the era of the Warring States you'd be dead six times over."

"Oooh, I'm _so_ scared." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Take that stick outta your ass Uchiha and you _might_ be able to enjoy life before you die of a heart attack at age 27."

"That's awfully specific Naruto." Sakura observed casually.

"Oh yeah, I've got my backup career set." The Konoha forward grinned.

"Konoha's Golden Boy turned serial killer." Sakura considered it. "I like it—catchy title and you've even got your signature figured out. I can see it now, Uzumaki Naruto: _kills via cardiac arrest when victim is still 27._ Not bad, kiddo."

"You two are so fucking weird." Sasuke began walking away.

"Too bad we're your only friends!" Naruto shouted before he and Sakura broke down laughing.

Sasuke rolled his eyes even though the blond and pinkette couldn't see him. How he became friends with a hyperactive knucklehead and a pushy pink-haired drama queen was beyond him but what was done was done. They were now under his protection and Uchiha Sasuke didn't do anything by halves.

The three of them were a cohesive unit. They were _SasukeNarutoSakura_ —a trio, a fucking black, blond, and pink tour-de-force.

And there was no fucking way in hell he was letting Uzumaki Naruto get corrupted by _Sabaku no Gaara_ of all people. Naruto was his brother (younger, never older) while Gaara was quickly rising to #1 on Sasuke's shit list.

He was just thankful the redheaded creep still didn't have Naruto's phone number.

* * *

 **A/N: I swear I haven't abandoned this story lol**

 **Reviews help me update faster I promise :)**


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